


The Next Best Thing

by LunaDeSangre



Series: Love is... [4]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: F/M, M/M, Pre-Canon, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 15:58:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11763336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaDeSangre/pseuds/LunaDeSangre
Summary: Matt is, really, a lovesick idiot.But he's a lovesick idiot trying to move on, and he thinks that should definitely count for something.





	The Next Best Thing

Hallie ( _Hallie Thomas, med student, do tequila shots with me, cutie, I'm paying_ ), Matt discovers that very first night, has a kinky streak about a mile wide. She's older than Matt by a good three years, as confident as she's beautiful, and vastly more experienced.

(But that's so easy it's kind of laughable, since Matt's only ever gotten kisses before, and only from one person at that, though he doesn't admit to her exactly who that is—not because he's ashamed, or because he thinks Kelly might be, though he does think that's a very high probability, but because he doesn't want her to realize all it would take for him to drop to his knees or bend over for Kelly goddamn Severide is one word from the man, and that the only reason it's not happening is because Kelly is still inexplicably treating him like Matt suddenly became fucking untouchable, that night Matt poured his fucking soul out to him in the man's arms, woke up hangover, alone and feeling immensely _stupid_ , wanting nothing more than one of Kelly's long clinging hugs to feel alright again, and Kelly just patted him on the back instead, at arm's length, like Matt had some kind of contagious disease, and proceeded to never kiss him again.)

In and out of bed, she keeps laughing delightedly as she teaches him _things_ , encourages him to _explore_ , and calls him _baby_. It's probably all a bit coddling, and Matt knows he should mind, but he likes the sense of belonging it gives him, even if he's sure that's not particularly manly. And it goes without saying he likes learning those things, too: he's never thought about any of it before, but as it turns out, well, let's just say he's _very_ open-minded.

There's really only one thing he refuses to do with her, over the nights that become weeks, weeks that become months, and months that become years—well, two things, but they're related: whether it's her finger (even more so _fingers_ , plural), a toy, tongue, or another man's dick, he doesn't want _anything_ in his ass, and no, he doesn't want to have a threesome with a man, he doesn't want to do _anything_ with a man (another woman would be okay though, but Hallie's not into that).

She thinks he's so straight the very idea freaks him out, and that he doesn't try to dispel that notion is his only real lie, because he does love her even if he thinks he will probably always love Kelly (but Kelly doesn't want him, so that's kind of a moot point: they're friends, that's all, whatever _that_ was before, they're just friends, and Matt has to live with that).

The truth though, is he's explored often enough on his own, in those floating limbo years between Kelly and Hallie, with his own fingers, quietly hidden under his blankets in his room when Kelly and Andy were asleep, to know _any_ stimulation to his ass would get him off real fast and _real_ hard, no problem but the fantasized afterimage of Kelly's intense steely-blue gaze and handsome face burned into his mind, the very real risk of moaning Kelly's name if he doesn't have a pillow to bite. The truth is any man that touches him, he might close his eyes on and mentally replace with Kelly, that if this doesn't happen with Hallie, it's simply because she's a woman, and that this very fact easily separates her from all his still helpless dreams about his _friend_ as long as she doesn't handle him like a man would.

(The truth is he's lost Kelly—lost him just like that, for no reasons Matt can understand, or force himself to ask for when Kelly is acting like there was never anything there in the first place besides friendship, and he can't loose the only other person in the universe who's ever made him feel truly loved.)


End file.
